i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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