i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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