I heard we made out
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
