Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize