hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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