wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
