Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
