That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
