I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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