saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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