Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
