nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
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if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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