why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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