How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
