Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
