Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Farmville is her only friend.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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