i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
