its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so much tequila, so little girl.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
