Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
