so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
