I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
