So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How external is "for external use only"?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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