you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
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He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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