so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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