i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
