Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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