franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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