bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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