ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
