You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
