tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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