I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
