So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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