Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
