There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
