THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
