I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.