you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us