She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity