He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
