And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
