he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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