His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
