even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
