all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
