He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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