gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm passing your future prison.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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