good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
