girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
