She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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