Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have feelings that need drinking.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
