mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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