Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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