Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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