Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
