So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
