I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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