You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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