bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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