he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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