Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
