Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
