the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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