This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
