I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
birth control should be required to get into college
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
