I'll bet she douches with gravy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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